Anal sex : The basics

If you are new to anal sex or you just want a quick reminder, this article is about the basics of anal sex : getting to know what you like with masturbation, cleaning, practicing safer sex and anal sex toys! 

A good way to learn what you like sexually is masturbation, if it’s something you feel comfortable with. For anal sex I would recommend to slowly add it to your solo/partner play. Dont be shy to use a lot of water-based gel lube and slowly play with your anus. Dont rush yourself ! When you are starting to associate anus play and sexual pleasure, you can slowly start to explore. Gently play with your fingers, one at a time, then two if you want. It’s all about gradually getting to know your anus. I personally think that it is fun to explore if you prefer deep penetration or wide penetration before buying a toy.  That is something you can explore with your fingers.

Fun fact, the PC muscle, the one you can exercice with the kegel exercice, are the one that contract during anal sex. The more you exercice those muscle, the more control of your anus you will get. So in opposition to the popular narrative, kegel exercice can be useful for folks with or without a front hole! For more info on kegel exercice you can DM me or check on google. For cleaning, a shower or a bath before anal play where you focus on your anus is all you need. Contrary to what most people think, you do not need to douche before anal sex. But it can be a good way to reduce anxiety and it can also be a source of pleasure ! When douching, try not to use too much water, just enough to clean the rectum, going too deep could irritate your colon on the long run. Only use water when douching, adding soap or other cleaning agents will irritate the thin and fragile rectal wall. For safer sex, keep in mind that going from the anus to the front hole is never recommended. Use condoms or latex gloves when you are going from the back hole to the front hole. For oral play, you can use a dental dam (a piece  of latex that works as a barrier) on the anus. Two tricks to keep in mind with anal play is “always use a toy with a flared base” and “use more lube then you think you need”. A water-base gel lube or silicone lube is recommend.

We will now concentrate on the different kind of anal sex toys! I identified three : butt plugs, anal beads and prostate massager.


Butt Plugs 

Butt plugs are the most known anal toys. They have many purposes and they come in a variety of forms and colours! They are useful before penetration to prepare your mind and you body and feel more confident.

They are fun to wear while being penetrated in the front hole. The wall between the front and the back hole is rather thin so it will be stimulating for both partners. The receiver may experience a sensation of double penetration and the giver will explore new textures.

You can also wear a butt plug to cheer up boring tasks of your day ! Grocery shopping, going to the gym, filling out your taxes. The wider the butt plug is, the more you anus will dilate, which can also be fun sensations to explore. Before buying your first butt plug, try to figure out, using fingers, what kind of length and width turns you on.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are a longer anal toy made out of many beads. Those beads can be the same size but can also go from smaller to bigger. They are a good way to explore size and depth. I usually recommend anal bead for people that are not sure about what size they would prefer. When playing with beads of different sizes, folks can get more comfortable with anal play.

For people with a prostate, you can slowly get the beads out while reaching orgasm, which will stimulate the p-point at the same time. I recommend anal  beads with a soft curve to reach the p-point easily.

Another interesting thing to explore with anal beads, is being penetrated in the front hole while wearing them, it will create a bumpy texture and stimulate both partners.

Most anal beads do not have a flared base, they mostly have a ring that you need to hold while playing. Some toys are hybrids between a butt plug and anal beads, they are shorter but have a base !

Prostate Stimulator 

The last type of anal toys we will explore are prostrate stimulator. They are made to specifically stimulate the p-point, which is approximately two finger joints deep pointing inside, on the same side as the genitalia.

There is three kinds of prostate stimulator, with a ring, massagers and vibrating.

The ring one has a special angle that will tickle the P-point in the right spot! They sadly do not have a flared base, so you need to hold the ring with your finger while exploring.

The prostate massagers have a special shape that will, again, stimulates the p-point, but can also be really fun to use while penetrating someone. They have a specially designed flared base. With each hip movements, the toys will give a nice massage to the p-point. Moreover, massaging the prostate can also help with erections.

The vibrating prostate stimulator will, as you guessed, stimulate the prostate with vibration! If you are not sure you will enjoy vibration on your p-point, they can be a little pricey. So I recommend to find out if you like vibration first ! A good way to do so is to  get a cheaper prostate massager and tickle the base with a vibrator, to see if vibration is something you enjoy.

Exploring your prostate, just like anal play,  is something you can do alone, with one or many partners but it’s also something you do not need to do!  Always respect your limits when exploring new desires and be sure to go slowly and gently, with a lot of lube !

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