On coming-out

Here is a picture of me when I first came out. In 2014 I came out as a lesbian and I taught it was the hardest thing I ever did. Turns out it was not haha.

We do not talk enough about what happens after you come out. Coming out is often pictured as the « beginning of a new life », « the end of the struggle », etc.  But what about second and third coming outs? What about folks who can’t or have no interest in coming out ? What about societies pressure on queer folks to come out and the impact it has on our mental health ?

Have you heard of « gay ocd » ? It’s a really disturbing and ableist term that is many younger folks use when they struggle with their sexual orientation. Folks that do not want to be gay but experience gay attractions and just do not know how to deal with it. Google it, it’s really weird.

When I’m talking about coming out, I refer to that moment when I have to « reveal » my « identities » to non-queer folks. Coming out to soothe non-queer folks curiosity. I rarely come out to other queer folks, I usually discuss or exchange.  Back then I would have never thought that I would need to come out again and again and again. As trans, as queer, as non-binary, as trans-masculine, as grey-sexual… and frankly I’m tired haha. I have no idea why I’m ranting about this subject today haha, but here it is. 



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